dream
I just woke up. It's a little after 5am. (It's getting easier to wake up this early, with the sun being almost up...
I had a really bad dream (bad dreams for pastors are... different. But you'll see).
I was doing a morning at evergreen, but it was a different space, not our regular meeting space. it felt like a largish classroom in an older elementary school. We weren't using our projector and screen, but rather a TV, and the other computer (for sound) was hooked into a home stereo by the wall.
Not many people were there, and most of those who were there were either more infrequent attenders or brand new (i.e strangers). At one point I stood in the back and counted and noticed that while the chairs in the front were completely empty, they were pulling out extras in the back and setting them up helter skelter because people were coming in late and not wanting to sit up front...
Things weren't going well. Many technical glitches. I have no idea where the band was, but they seemed absent. Certain people I rely on as I look out in the "crowd" to be my (psychological) anchor weren't there. No Brian, Starla, no Steve and Brynn...
The glitches threw me off... or maybe I was just unprepared, or talked myself into a corner. At any rate, I could tell people were bored to tears. Emotionally, it felt like trying to get an overweight plane off the ground at half speed.
A few (new) people in the back got up and filed out as I was speaking. The interesting thing is that the crowd really was divided into two wings, on my right and left (just something about how the room was set up). Anyway, as these people and their kids moved through the back to the door, there was the sound of chairs scraping and their kids asking about lunch and
the conversation just kind of ground to a halt.
I tried to get it restarted but this couple in the front, on my left decided that they had had enough and stood and were trying to quietly motion to their teens on my right to "Come on!"... I just sort of looked down and tried not to make eye contact with them. It was overwhelmingly embarassing.
A certain tipping point was reached. More people decided "Let's go..." and slowly, everyone began to get up and leave. And I could just tell, they weren't coming back.
I had a really bad dream (bad dreams for pastors are... different. But you'll see).
I was doing a morning at evergreen, but it was a different space, not our regular meeting space. it felt like a largish classroom in an older elementary school. We weren't using our projector and screen, but rather a TV, and the other computer (for sound) was hooked into a home stereo by the wall.
Not many people were there, and most of those who were there were either more infrequent attenders or brand new (i.e strangers). At one point I stood in the back and counted and noticed that while the chairs in the front were completely empty, they were pulling out extras in the back and setting them up helter skelter because people were coming in late and not wanting to sit up front...
Things weren't going well. Many technical glitches. I have no idea where the band was, but they seemed absent. Certain people I rely on as I look out in the "crowd" to be my (psychological) anchor weren't there. No Brian, Starla, no Steve and Brynn...
The glitches threw me off... or maybe I was just unprepared, or talked myself into a corner. At any rate, I could tell people were bored to tears. Emotionally, it felt like trying to get an overweight plane off the ground at half speed.
A few (new) people in the back got up and filed out as I was speaking. The interesting thing is that the crowd really was divided into two wings, on my right and left (just something about how the room was set up). Anyway, as these people and their kids moved through the back to the door, there was the sound of chairs scraping and their kids asking about lunch and
the conversation just kind of ground to a halt.
I tried to get it restarted but this couple in the front, on my left decided that they had had enough and stood and were trying to quietly motion to their teens on my right to "Come on!"... I just sort of looked down and tried not to make eye contact with them. It was overwhelmingly embarassing.
A certain tipping point was reached. More people decided "Let's go..." and slowly, everyone began to get up and leave. And I could just tell, they weren't coming back.
6 Comments:
Bob, you don't know me, so I'll just offer a thought and you can feel free to toss it out or ask for the rest. I'm not into dream psychology, but I do believe that God speaks to us through dreams, as well as in other ways. I believe I understand the gist of this dream, and it has something to do with your post titled "Planting." As I said, you don't know me, but if you would like more detail let me know via email and I can respond here or privately.
Wild- talk to me man. I'm all ears.
Let's have the conversation here, too. No harm in letting others in... i hope :)
Man, Bob, you're quick on the draw! Alright, a few preliminaries:
1) I feel odd about offering stuff like this behind a pseudonym - I can provide my real identity privately (I blog under the pseudonym) though that may not help you. Either way, if you have any question as to my involvement in this stuff, ask RobbyMac who knows me with and without the pseudonym.
2) Honestly Bob, I don't really know you - I've noticed some of your blog posts go by on Planet Emergent and have read some fo them there or here; I don't really know a lot about the community you're involved in or planting or whatever, though I mentioned the other post. I could go looking for material about your church to try and inform what I think this dream is about but I'm not going to do that - I'll give you what I think and we can discuss... you fill in the blanks.
3) If it doesn't fit, don't force it, just chuck it. I get nothing either way, but I hope it's helpful to you. If what I say is off and you don't want your folks sidetracked, or if it's right and you would like to edit the comments or whatever so you can relate it to the folks in your church through your own channels in person, go right ahead; again, I leave that with you.
Sorry for all that.
Here's the deal... notice some contrasts:
- your PA and Projection are suited to a small group and not to the size of event you're doing
- the people who come are not comfortable in the environment that's created
- your normal support network isn't in place in this context
- "Emotionally, it felt like trying to get an overweight plane off the ground at half speed." You also called it a bad dream; emotions are often a key to understanding what a dream is about generally.
- you're in an elementary school classroom, a teaching environment for the community
Alright, next:
- this is a warning dream of some type, hence the emotions involved; I think your descriptor is extremely accurate to what the warning is about
- I believe you're launching, about to launch, or talking about launching a new ministry or a change in how you do things in your community/church (note this isn't that insightful, you talked about your first public meeting in the post I quoted, though I don't know how long ago that was). Here you've put yourself in a position to teach the community, but you don't have quite what you need behind you to pull it off in terms of support network... I think this is because the change you're making is actually changing who you are - iow, it's changing your community/church more fundamentally than it's supposed to.
- You're drawing people but can't hold them... I think again because of the changes being made in a bad way, more fundamental than you're supposed to. This leads me to believe that it may not be a wrong thing you're about to do, but the method maybe needs tweaking to keep everything else in line... it's probably changes you can't see on the surface, "thin edge of the wedge" stuff, which is why God is showing you through a dream.
There y'go... thoughts? Clarifying questions? Torches, clubs, and pitchforks?
Gratia vobis et pax,
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Just checking in... no flames in my inbox yet, so I guess that's good; still not sure if this is wide of the mark or not.
btw Bob, I did try to email you directly as well, but got a bounce message (anti-spam thing of some sort).
Anyway, hth (let me know.)
hey maynard- check back later today. Got some thoughts... but have some things to take cre of and want to continue thinking about a couple of things...
thanks, man!
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