too many voices...
too many voices in my head right now.
There is, of course, Jack. My 16 month old. He's pretty content right now, as we're sitting on the back deck and he's digging in a flower pot with trowel. He likes dirt.
But man, what he does to my formerly quiet, reflective mornings. Some days he's okay, but often, it's just a constant stream of begging for momma (if she's still in bed), for food, for attention. I sure try to give him what he needs, but I find the hardest part just to be the noise. The banging, the tearing, the throwing of books, the crying. It's a wild scene, people.
The other voices come from a lot of places...
Voices saying we need to move our church community, voices saying we need to stay put. Voices saying we're too churchy, voices saying "where's the worship?". Voices saying too much Bible, voices saying not enough, you're heretics! You're not doing anythingdifferent! Too normal, too weird...
It's hard to listen to all that and take it in, but it's part and parcel of the way we're trying to do things. What people have to say actually matters. I try to weigh it, discern the motivation, the validity, even the emotion and the baggage/source... But just making "listening" a part of your personal, pastoral or community philosophy doesn't make it easy. I don't agree with, but more and more I understand the "my way or the highway" kind of pastors. It sure is easier, I'll bet.
And then I worry about the voices I'm not hearing.
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and think to myself "Where's so and so? I haven't seen or heard from them in weeks... I wonder if anyone has called or emailed them?"
As we get past the 100 person mark (about 110 give or take...) I know this will continue to be an issue. I just can't keep track of that many people, keep in contact with that many... I have to trust the community to bear a good chunk of the load. It just freaks me out when people disappear. There are some voices I'd really like to hear right about now...
Including God's.
There is, of course, Jack. My 16 month old. He's pretty content right now, as we're sitting on the back deck and he's digging in a flower pot with trowel. He likes dirt.
But man, what he does to my formerly quiet, reflective mornings. Some days he's okay, but often, it's just a constant stream of begging for momma (if she's still in bed), for food, for attention. I sure try to give him what he needs, but I find the hardest part just to be the noise. The banging, the tearing, the throwing of books, the crying. It's a wild scene, people.
The other voices come from a lot of places...
Voices saying we need to move our church community, voices saying we need to stay put. Voices saying we're too churchy, voices saying "where's the worship?". Voices saying too much Bible, voices saying not enough, you're heretics! You're not doing anythingdifferent! Too normal, too weird...
It's hard to listen to all that and take it in, but it's part and parcel of the way we're trying to do things. What people have to say actually matters. I try to weigh it, discern the motivation, the validity, even the emotion and the baggage/source... But just making "listening" a part of your personal, pastoral or community philosophy doesn't make it easy. I don't agree with, but more and more I understand the "my way or the highway" kind of pastors. It sure is easier, I'll bet.
And then I worry about the voices I'm not hearing.
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and think to myself "Where's so and so? I haven't seen or heard from them in weeks... I wonder if anyone has called or emailed them?"
As we get past the 100 person mark (about 110 give or take...) I know this will continue to be an issue. I just can't keep track of that many people, keep in contact with that many... I have to trust the community to bear a good chunk of the load. It just freaks me out when people disappear. There are some voices I'd really like to hear right about now...
Including God's.
14 Comments:
Kill your mother
Twinkies! Twinkies are good!
Doo do do-do do-do do do do do, doo do do-do do-do do do do do
None of you may eat blood, nor may an alien living among you eat blood.
Just here to help.
wow man, are you getting ranacked by hackers or something now? What's with the comments?
Good thoughts to read as a father whos 7 milimeter baby is a little easier to handle right now:)
Bob- I really have been thinking about how you have to deal with that recently. What a tough Job! Thanks for leading... even if that means some of us aren't happy with you at times. That's what real leadership is. Hang in there. I know there is a ton of people who have your back- the Fullers included.
No, Chris, that was me trying to be funny. Voices ...
Kelcifer, man I don't know you, but "kill your mother" was kinda hard to swallow as funny.
Bob, don't forget us little people out here. The bi-vocational pastors reading your blog/articles for a little fresh air. I guess it's easier with 20 people, but maybe the worries of too little weigh as much as the worries of too much. Just know that in some small ways, we're counting on you (in a non-hero-worship, brotherly kind of way).
Sorry, man. That's just the traditional thing voices tell people to do. Humor's risky in person, but much riskier on the internet. No harm intended.
hey kelcifer... it's all good :)
Drew! Good to see you. I kept meaning to send a comment/email saying congrats on the new baby! It kind of got away from me... so CONGRATS!
Kelcifer, man, I understand. I actually got to retire my badge from being on the bob.blog police force about a week ago. I don't even know you, I overstepped. Lo siento.
Bob, man thanks. She happy and healthy. Things are going well and we're all adjusting to life here in Lafayette.
Hey, NO...don't kill your mother...besides, its been tried and no one or no thing has accomplished it... yet.
the realtor and knifed
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