pain...
I have no idea if our gathering "worked" for anyone but me today... but it worked for me. I got where I needed to go.
We walked through the first part of Luke 7...
Jesus heals someone's servant. He raises a widow's son from the dead... He leaves John in prison.
(by the way... excellent call Scott Lyons, in the comments on my last post on this chapter- you are right... Jesus quotes a messianic passage from Isaiah to John, and conveniently "forgets" the part about releasing the captives- I used that today... way to go with the community sermon prep!)
The things is, I was just about weepy through most of the morning... I felt a little goofy for not being able to get it together...
As we were talking about the widow who lost her only son, and the impact that would have on her, I told how a couple of weeks ago, when Amy's dad died, she called me in absolute hysterics. I couldn't understand anything she was saying to me, other than the word "dead." I heard "he's dead." All I could think was that Jack had been hurt... killed.
For about 30 seconds, the bottom dropped out of my world. I can't even describe the feeling to you. I imagine some people reading this have experienced what I'm talking about, and I'm very, very sorry. The thought that I had lost my child made me weak in the knees, everything was spinning, all I could do was try to push that thought away and get some clarification with Amy as to what had happened...
Talking about that today, putting myself in the place of that widow in the story, just about did me in. Of course, the most beautiful part of the story was the line, "and Jesus gave him back to his mother."
The problem is, what we were talking about this morning is the fact that sometimes God works miracles, and sometimes... He doesn't. Sometimes He says no. Sometimes, it feels like we are praying to a wall.
So, as we read and talked I just kept thinking about all the people who are part of evergreen who are suffering... so many people I know are going through hard times right now- it just seems abnormal.
And as we talked, I choked up, as we prayed I choked up, as we sang, I choked up...
For my wife and her sister who lost their father, for those struggling with infertility, for those going through the worst week of their life...
"Blessed is the person who doesn't get offended by the way I do things... or don't do them."
And blessed is the man who remembers to pray for his community, day in and day out, to ask God to listen, to answer, to act.
We walked through the first part of Luke 7...
Jesus heals someone's servant. He raises a widow's son from the dead... He leaves John in prison.
(by the way... excellent call Scott Lyons, in the comments on my last post on this chapter- you are right... Jesus quotes a messianic passage from Isaiah to John, and conveniently "forgets" the part about releasing the captives- I used that today... way to go with the community sermon prep!)
The things is, I was just about weepy through most of the morning... I felt a little goofy for not being able to get it together...
As we were talking about the widow who lost her only son, and the impact that would have on her, I told how a couple of weeks ago, when Amy's dad died, she called me in absolute hysterics. I couldn't understand anything she was saying to me, other than the word "dead." I heard "he's dead." All I could think was that Jack had been hurt... killed.
For about 30 seconds, the bottom dropped out of my world. I can't even describe the feeling to you. I imagine some people reading this have experienced what I'm talking about, and I'm very, very sorry. The thought that I had lost my child made me weak in the knees, everything was spinning, all I could do was try to push that thought away and get some clarification with Amy as to what had happened...
Talking about that today, putting myself in the place of that widow in the story, just about did me in. Of course, the most beautiful part of the story was the line, "and Jesus gave him back to his mother."
The problem is, what we were talking about this morning is the fact that sometimes God works miracles, and sometimes... He doesn't. Sometimes He says no. Sometimes, it feels like we are praying to a wall.
So, as we read and talked I just kept thinking about all the people who are part of evergreen who are suffering... so many people I know are going through hard times right now- it just seems abnormal.
And as we talked, I choked up, as we prayed I choked up, as we sang, I choked up...
For my wife and her sister who lost their father, for those struggling with infertility, for those going through the worst week of their life...
"Blessed is the person who doesn't get offended by the way I do things... or don't do them."
And blessed is the man who remembers to pray for his community, day in and day out, to ask God to listen, to answer, to act.
3 Comments:
Hi Bob,
I wanted to thank you again for the hospitality on Saturday.
Thank you for your vulnerability in this post, too. I find myself getting choked up, more and more these days... mostly at the blindness with which we walk our lives.
Sometimes sorrow wakes us up, and I pray for brokeness to keep me focused... but when the brokeness comes, I regret my hasty prayers, feeling rather arrogant for thinking I could handle it with more strength than I have.
I'm reminded of an Andrew Peterson song:
"Give us faith to be strong,
Give us strength to be faithful,
'Cause life is not long, but it's hard...
Give us grace to go on,
make us willing and able.
Lord, give us faith to be strong."
Faith to be strong AND strength to be faithful, because neither of these virtures comes from us - strength or faith.
Keep your head up in the journey, my brother.
Peter
Bob, I wish we had been there Sunday, sounds like we could have used it...I have also experienced the worst five seconds of not knowing if my child was ok after we were hit by the other car and she was just 3 weeks old..that was the scariest moment of my life, yet the most amazing moment..because God said yes, she is fine. And from that second I knew she was fine, I gave up everything to God. It wasn't because I got to keep her, but it was because when I asked everyone if she was ok, I heard God answer me first as if he was right in front of my face. And that has to be worth the seconds of dread and horror I felt. I keep hearing that to overcome pain you have to walk through it and not hide from it....it was even on Oprah yesterday (sorry...)but it seems true....
Maybe God had you feel those few seconds of unthinkable pain so that you may have a better ubderstanding of those that have had to deal with that same pain, in one form or another.
Just a thought...and.God did return the son to the mother.
Love you.
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