When we talk about community...I think about getting to the point where we don't make the bed when others come over. Glad, Sarah and I got into a few months ago about the difference between hospitality and entertaining. I thought I'd throw it out there. We discussed how hard it is to share stuff or have people over.

I think we decided that part of the problem is that we were taught that when you have guests:

1. you have to have nice stuff;
2. the house has to be clean;
3. the guest has to be entertained; and
4. the food must be well prepared (practice is essential)

It seems that in order to keep that up, you have to be crazy anal (and proficient), or you don't have people over. Which is sad, because I find the people I am closest to are the people whom I have hung out with at each other's homes.

It dawned on me that I can't do keep this up when I got a call a few years ago from our friends who live in Italy. With one week's notice we were hosting them and their two boys for one month. Brian and I came to the realization that the only way we could host a family for a month is to be bad hosts. "Here's your bedroom, here's the fridge, here's a key. If you need anything, use it, get it, prepare it."

This started the process of me trying not be stressed out when having people over. [I'm getting better] To have a true community, it can't be about me, us, our house, our stuff, our presentation. It needs to be about the people. People feeling like they can drop by. Eat with us--whatever we are eating (Does this smell okay to you?)

As far as I am concerned, the new benchmark is whether guests help themselves to the fridge when hungry/thirsty or wash dishes after a meal. A recent guest just fixed our screen door-I love it, but it is also humbling. (It took two days for Kevin to punch a new hole--Kevin's the cat) It also means that I have to tell people when I've had enough or help. "I'm going to bed, lock up when you leave." "I hate to kick you out but I've got to be up early tomorrow." "On your way over, can you stop by the store and pick up..."

I suppose when I hear about us becoming a community, I envision a network of "safe" havens. I would hope that each of us are making meals for each other, even if it is Kraft Easy Mac...or we aren't part of a community house...or you have to move a newspaper to sit down.

I'm making pasta tonight. Want some?